It's not your fault.

One of the most moving and emotional scenes of all times can be found in the movie Good Will Hunting. It is a scene in which Will Hunting (Matt Damon) is finally able to release all of the rage and hurt he’s been holding on to for so long while in a counseling session with Sean (Robin Williams) his therapist. If interested, the clip can be found here -www.youtube.com/watch?v=UYa6gbDcx18(explicit language - 4 min, 13 sec). In a brave and loving gesture and with paternal empathy, Sean expresses to Will that all of the dysfunction and abuse he grew up with and has carried with him since childhood is “not his fault”. Will has a hard time receiving this at first but Sean keeps repeating the phrase, “It’s not your fault” until Will finally breaks. In this redemptive moment, the healing begins…

I am a child of a broken home. I have witnessed abuse and rage. I know what it’s like to be torn between two parents, two homes, two lives. Much of my childhood memories (good and bad) have been suppressed or forgotten (likely an unconscious internal protection mechanism I’ve employed) but needless to say, I’ve carried some dysfunctional baggage along my life journey as well. Maybe that’s why this movie scene is so poignant to me.

I’m super sensitive to injustice and discrimination. When someone is wrongly accused of something they didn’t do or being unreasonably ridiculed or mocked, something in me just flares up and wants to fight for justice and equality. 

This got me thinking about the ultimate poster child for injustice. If anyone should hear the words, “It’s not your fault” it’s this guy. He lived about two thousand years ago and he’s super famous. Jesus was mocked, insulted, ridiculed, tortured and killed. His only crime was that he claimed to be the Messiah, King of the Jews, the Son of God. Either he is who he claimed to be or he was a crazy blasphemer. That’s a much longer and more involved discussion but you get my point. I choose to believe.

Here’s my question to ponder. Have you ever experienced some sort of significant injustice in your life? Has anyone ever falsely accused you of something you didn’t do? Have you been mistreated, abandoned, abused, or defamed? Taking it a step further. Have you cheated on your spouse? Struck your child in anger? Stolen something? Do you consciously or even subconsciously carry that thing through life with you? It’s time to address the elephant in your brain. Your physical well-being may literal depend on it if you don’t! According to WebMD, “your heart and mental health may depend on your ability to reduce hurt and anger, even at yourself.” 

It is actually easier to forgive others than it is to forgive yourself but it’s time to get on with it. You can’t erase the past but there is redemption ahead. Embrace your liberation and choose forgiveness today. You are not relegated to a life of paying penance, which keeps us remembering the pain of our past sins and stuck in a muddy rut, unable to move forward. The best version of you, which you and your family deserve to live with, depends on your willingness to forgive yourself and others first.

Consider these verses:

Ephesians 4:32 - "Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you."

1 John 1:19 – “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.”

Let’s go get it!!