Life COached.

Last week, Jill and I traveled to Seattle to attend a five-day Life Coaching Seminar. There are few things less sexy to talk about than learning powerful tips on how to assist others in personal development and goal setting, so I promise to get to the point with haste;) 

The week was powerful and we are now well on our way to becoming certified Life Coaches but the whole process got me thinking about this question; Why do I, so often, feel “broken”? I’m going to dive into the deep end of vulnerability here but I mean really... I am going to be a Life Coach for God’s sake! I’m going to “help” others and yet I feel inadequate at times to help myself. For the past nine years, I’ve made it my personal “ministry” to simply be available for other men in my community and journey along side them to discuss heavy issues of life pertaining to God, marriage, parenting, finances, etc. and yet I don’t presume to have it all together. Not even close! That said, over time I realized that I was not alone in my thinking. I also realized that men need other safe and trusted men in their lives to process the “broken” areas of our lives that we all experience. 

I learned something very valuable this past week and it pertains to what is referred to as, “self-limiting beliefs”. We all have them. These are the voices in our heads that remind us daily of everything we are not or the things we don’t have or what we are afraid of. It’s the tiny demon on your shoulder that whispers, like an annoying mosquito, things like, “You can’t…”, “You’re not…”, “You should…”, “You don’t have…”, “Others will think…” and so on. It’s the mini-me perched on my own shoulder telling me things like “You’re not qualified to coach others.” or “What will people think if your business fails?” or “You should be a better father.”

As a coach we learned that it’s so important to take time to reflect not on all of the limitations we think we have around a certain thing but rather to explore who we really are and our various successes in these related areas. Most of the time, we allow our self-limiting beliefs to build in our minds until they become boulders when they should be grains of sand! So for example, if you are feeling inadequate as a husband right now, stop and remind yourself of the areas that you are succeeding in your marriage. Sure, there is likely room for improvement or you wouldn’t be wrestling with this issue but when you bring clarity and perspective back into the equation, you’ll be able to better identify where the actual “holes” exist and what elements need to change or improve to better your situation. 

There is a remarkable verse in the Bible that relates to this topic so beautifully. Romans 12:2 reads, “Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is--his good, pleasing and perfect will.”

I’ll close with this final question. What is the limiting belief swirling around your head these days? After you recognize this false assumption about yourself, ask yourself the following questions; “Is this really true?” and “What effect does this belief have on your ability to move forward?” If you would be bold enough to share this with the group, I think it could be powerful for all of us to hear.

Let’s go get it!