What Gives?

Sometimes I’ll find myself “keeping score” in my marriage. It’s a super dysfunctional, under the radar, sort of behavior. It usually starts off by me feeling offended by something she’s done or hasn’t done and escalates from there. I’m letting you in to an intimate place I probably shouldn’t right now but whatever, I’ll just chalk this up to personal therapy and trust you won’t judge me too harshly. For example, I’ve always felt that when a couple sleeps through the night together after sharing the same bed for eight hours or so, that at minimum, when both people wake up, they should at least say “good morning” to each other and acknowledge that the person they love is still breathing and lying next to them! So, because this is important to me, I usually try to make an effort to do this before popping out of bed. BUT, sometimes, I will purposefully NOT say a word and see how it plays out. As soon as Jill gets out of bed without a touch or a word, I instantly make a mental note. Strike one. If it happens the next day, strike two. If it happens a third day, I may slip out with a sarcastic, “love you too!” or “hello human!” at which point, she’ll laugh or feel bad and say, “Oh my gosh! I’m so sorry! Good morning babe.” But because I’m still a 47-year-old child, I will take something this small and make it a bigger deal than it needs to be. Who hurt me?! ☺ 

I recently heard a sermon and the pastor said something that I’m hoping will stick with me for a long time. It’s so simple, yet also profound; “Give what you want to receive.” 

Check out this single verse in Luke 6:38 - “Give, and you will receive. Your gift will return to you in full—pressed down, shaken together to make room for more, running over, and poured into your lap. The amount you give will determine the amount you get back.”

Many teachers have used this verse in a financial context, which I believe may be appropriate however I’ve also heard that everything surrounding this verse in its context is quite relational; speaking of love and mercy and judgment and forgiveness, so it’s really the ultimate relational verse! 

In other words, if you are in need of attention or respect or affection or affirmation or gratitude, then GIVE of that thing you are hoping will be reciprocated and see if it’s not given back to you in the measure you wish to receive it.

There’s always a catch, right? Here’s the catch. Check your motives. Be honest with yourself. Sometimes when we give, we give as a manipulation or control tactic to get something in return. The challenge for all of us is to give without expecting anything in return. Give with a pure heart and give out of a posture of love. God is the ultimate Giver. He knows what we need and He will provide it at the right time or season and it is Him who ultimately rewards us in the end.

Let’s go get it!