To Know Me is to love...My mask.

“No one told me that when I wear a mask, only my mask receives love.” ― John S. Lynch, The Cure

Wanna try something scary? I got this idea after I decided to write about this topic. Stare at yourself in the mirror for a minute or two. I don’t mean while you’re brushing your teeth or shaving. I mean just you and a mirror and a deep gaze at YOU. What do you see? In my case, I see signs of aging, lines forming, wrinkles and spots and hairs growing out of places they never used to. These “surface” level observations came quickly but after the first thirty seconds or so, I began to stare at the person behind the face, if that makes sense. The essence of "me". Whoa. Who am I? Who are you? 

This matter of wearing masks and identity, especially for men, is loaded and heavy and requires more than a quick glossing over so I plan to circle back to it again soon. For now however, allow me to stir it up a bit with this comment; who you are is not what you do.

We all wear masks. Some of us wear our mask so often that we actually start believing that we are who our mask is portraying us to be. We lose touch with who we really are and concede to our contrived mannequins of self. 

This got me thinking about a story I recently heard from a well-known pastor, Jim Hayford. He shared about his father who was a blue collar Southern Pacific Railroad worker who had worked diligently for 30 years, grinding it out day after day and slowly moving up the corporate ladder until he finally became a Regional Supervisor with many employees reporting to him. Jim recalls a day that will live on in his memory forever. It was “Take your child to work day” and so Jim’s father took Jim to work but decided to stop at their favorite local diner for a quick breakfast before the day got started. Many of the locals as well as Jim’s fathers’ co-workers also frequented this joint. Jim and his father bellied up to the bar. A moment later, a well-dressed businessman sat at the stool next to Jim’s father. After a few pleasantries and small talk, came the question that has become nearly always expected between men within moments of meeting. The man turned to Jim’s father and asked, “So, what do you do?” In that split moment, Jim’s fathers’ mask could have answered the question by saying, “Well, I manage a large group of men as a Supervisor for Southern Pacific, blah, blah, blah…” but instead Jim’s father seized a moment of clarify to answer the question as his pure self, void of any mask, and simply responded, “I’m this boy’s father.” You see he understood that his calling, his mission and his greatest privilege was to raise his son and be a loving father. I love that.

I think our greatest desire, and maybe our greatest fear, is to truly be known. But who can truly know us, warts and all, other than God? We long to be known by our spouses or closest friends however this requires risk beyond comfort and trust beyond capacity. It’s much easier to slip on the familiar mask. It fits so well by now. It’s broken in like a good glove or mouthpiece. It’s not fully me but it’s enough of me to get by. Or is it?

Question to ponder: How comfortable have you become with your mask?

Verses to consider: 
1 Corinthians 8:3 – “…But the one who loves God is known by God.”
Psalm 139:1 – “Oh Lord, You have searched me and you know me.”

Always eager to hear your thoughts.

Let's get it!